whitegirlproblems

I Most Definitely Did Not Wake Up Like This

If I met a genie and was granted three wishes, I’m almost positive I would wish for an endless supply of Kcups, 1 million golden retriever puppies surrounding me at all times, and most importantly, to be naturally pretty.

Now, I’m aware that I’m not entirely unfortunate looking, but let me tell you, I did not “wake up like dis” (end Beyonce quote).

Same. Image from mbass.com

Same.
Image from mbass.com

All females understand the struggle. The endless hair struggle, the makeup struggle, the workout struggle, the diet struggle. All to look somewhat acceptable in public.

Unless, of course, you’re naturally pretty. Then you don’t understand the struggle at all. Stupid pretty girls.

I know this is so vain to be complaining about, but it really is stressful. I wish that I could just roll out of bed in the morning and look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but instead I look like a disheveled bear who has just risen from a long hibernation.

I know for a fact that it would also save me time, money and effort if I were just simply pretty. I wouldn’t have to buy as much makeup or hair products, I wouldn’t have to wake up an hour before class starts, I wouldn’t have to plan out how much time it will take me to curl my hair and paint on my face every time I want to leave my room. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Life would be a breeze.

For the record, I’d like to point out that I’m not exactly high maintenance, either. Regardless of how not naturally gorgeous I may be, I can still be ready to go out within 30 minutes. I also buy the cheapest Maybelline mascara on the shelf and I wash my hair approximately bi-weekly. So, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a Sephora junkie who eats lettuce for her meals and teases her hair Every. Single. Day.

But, still, I envy those girls who wake-up with flawless, natural waves in their hair and a smooth complexion without a trace of foundation. I would give up my first-born child to forever remove the permanent blueish circles from under my eyes.

If this is the biggest concern I have to deal with in my life, I suppose I should punch myself in the face. But, I’m a college girl and that’s what college girls have to deal with on a daily basis. Wishing they looked like Candice Swanepoel and realizing they resemble a sea urchin instead.

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There’s No Place Like Home (How Corny)

I attend a college with a very unique culture. For those of you who have never heard of St. Bonaventure University (which is probably most of you), it is a small, private Franciscan university in the middle of absolutely no where.

There’s nothing to do, the weather is terrible, and you see the same people on campus every day.

So why is everyone obsessed with it?

I’m not sure. But, I’m no exception. I adore my school. It’s kind of like a cult to everyone who is a part of it. It even has a name: “The Bona Bubble.”

As a result of this cult-like obsession, most Bonnies dread leaving campus. And I don’t mean graduating. I mean, like for week-long breaks. Students actually hate traveling back home for the winter and suffer from Bonaventure withdrawal.

I suppose I am an exception to this norm, though. As much as I love my school, nothing will ever compare to being home. I wouldn’t say I’m a homebody, but I will definitely never pass up an opportunity to lay in my own bed with my cat, eat entire bags of Cheetos on my couch, and have my baskets of dirty clothes magically cleaned by the laundry fairy (thanks Mom).

Everyone at school says this feeling starts to fade as you become more and more attached to Bona’s. I still haven’t experienced that.

On Monday I traveled home for Thanksgiving, and I was just as excited as I’ve always been to be homeward bound. Upon entering my house, I promptly ate a bag of Doritos, a bowl of Reese’s Puffs and a Krispy Kreme doughnut. If I were at school I would’ve been scrounging for leftover Easy Mac scraps. Honestly, what isn’t to love about being home?

I think my love for home has a lot to do with my forever friends, too. I’ve had the same group of girl friends since the beginning of high school, and no matter how many wonderful people I meet in high school, nothing will ever replace my original friendships. A lot of people go home on breaks and sit in bed watching Netflix for 12 hours at a time, but I get to run around my hometown eating 40 cent wings at our local bar on Monday, have a wine night with the girls on Tuesday, go out on the town Wednesday, etc. (although, seriously, there is nothing wrong with a good Netflix binge).

Regardless of all that, though, it’s a wonderful time to be home with family. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays and no, not just because of the food. I love the energy that comes along with Thanksgiving. The though of sleeping in Thursday morning, watching that stupid parade with my Mom, making more appetizers than I’ll ever be able to eat, and laughing for the rest of the day with the most important people… how can you not smile at that?

So, as much as I love being young and wild and free at college, I’ll always love the comfort of home even more. And I encourage everyone to appreciate that comfort this week, too.

I guess it goes without saying that my stress levels are at an all-time minimum right now. But, never fear, as soon as I get back to school there’s only one week until finals. Nothing puts a damper on the holiday season like that realization. Buzzkill.

Anyway, Happy (early) Thanksgiving 🙂

Image from thepointsguy.com

Image from thepointsguy.com

7 Reasons Taylor Swift Needs To Just Not

Is anyone else completely and utterly sick of Taylor Swift?

I know I gave her a shout-out in one of my earlier blog posts, but that was more me making fun of her for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends than actually giving her any sort of positive recognition.

I haven’t always been a hater, either. I used to really like her. Until she started trying too hard. No one likes a try-hard.

Everything this girl does gives me anxiety and makes me want to pull my hair out. Her creepiness at the AMA’s really set me off. So, my hate list:

  1. Your weird comb-over haircut. Please stop being trendy because you switch your style every week. Yes, Lady Gaga is completely crazy but at least she sticks to it and is genuine.
  2. Your personality changes as much as your style. All right, so you like to change your hair and your clothes. That’s one thing. But your multiple personalities disorder has got to go. Are you the innocent, sweet, heart-broken victim? Or are you the girl-power, don’t-need-no-man vixen? Who knows. It’s creepy, Tay.
  3. Your dance moves. Honestly, do I need to say more? You look like an uncomfortable snake trying to shed it’s skin and it’s making everyone else’s skin crawl, too.
  4. You pulled your music from Spotify. And claimed that your music was “rare, valuable art that should be paid for.” And made a huge deal about it. In theory, yes I understand why you did this and yes, I appreciate music as an art form. However, a) you do get paid a royalty when your music is played on Spotify, b) you have enough money, sweetheart, I promise, and c) if I can listen to other musical geniuses on Spotify, what makes you so special?
  5. You don’t want to be associated with country music anymore. I just find this a little unappreciative. Without country, you wouldn’t even be in the business. And your country songs were far better than any of your teen-pop jamz. But, that’s just one girl’s opinion.
  6. In an effort to steer clear of your country roots, you say things like “sick beat” and “hella.” Don’t do that.
  7. And above all else, you’re not Beyonce. And you never will be. That’s not really in your control but I will hold it against you nonetheless. Bow down to the queen, T-swift.
Image from vulture.com

Image from vulture.com

Ugh. I feel bad, because I’m sure you’re a lovely girl. But, just like you’ve got to write songs about your past love affairs, I have to blog about the things that bother me. And today, that’s you. Sorry girl.

She does know how to make a catchy song, though. I’ll give her that.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

There’s something about the winter that’s just depressing. Beyond all the little things I’ve talked about in the past, like the snow and the cold and the mud all over the carpets, there’s just something that makes people sad during this season. Even if you aren’t formally diagnosed with seasonal depression, you’ve probably experienced some winter tears in your life.

My dog passed away yesterday and I took it really hard. People that don’t have pets probably don’t understand, but they become like family and it’s tough.

Animals have this weird affect on people like me, too. Someone like me, who is constantly stressed and annoyed, can freak out on nearly anyone. But, if I’m upset and I yell at my dog or my cat, I kind of want to punch myself in the face. My dog used to eat my clothes, pee on the carpets, eat the garbage and tear up bags of cat food. I wanted to kill him 98% of the time. Yet, the other 2% of the time, when he was snoring peacefully next to me, convinced me to never be mad at him. There’s something so innocent about our pets that I don’t think I’ll ever find in another human.

I haven’t experienced a lot of death in my life. My grandma passed away when I was 14, but that’s the last time I dealt with having someone extremely close to me removed from my life. So, as a result, I guess my pets have taken that role.

Death, in general, is such a strange topic. Everyone deals with it in different ways, and it’s difficult to talk about openly. I even feel somewhat uncomfortable writing the word, “death.” For something that’s so natural, and that happens to everyone, it’s amazing how deep of a toll it takes on all of us.

There’s really nothing stressful or sarcastic about death, so this topic sort of steers away from my usual rants. What’s funny is that something as serious as this, which should be causing me anxiety, leaves me feeling mostly flat, for lack of a better word. I’m just sad, not worried or stressed out.

As I mentioned earlier, I believe that winter environment adds to it. All the plants are dying, the trees are losing their leaves, there’s currently a snow-pocalypse in Western New York and there’s just this overwhelming sense of loss that can enhance anything you’re feeling on a personal level.

I promise I’ll be back to my usual upbeat, sassy self by Monday, but today is my day to lay in bed, eat McDonald’s 2 for $1 chocolate chip cookies, and be sad about my dog.

IMG_3224

On Wednesdays We Don’t Sleep

I shouldn’t be surprised that I suffer from insomnia. I mean, with my anxiety, my worrisome personality and my hypochondriac-ness, it only seems fitting that I suffer from a sleeping disorder.

I’ve always had a difficult time falling asleep. When I was younger I tried all sorts of things to combat my struggles. I tried listening to ocean wave sound effects, drinking warm beverages, turning my fan on, turning my fan off. Nothing really helped.

As I got older, I tried other things like hard drugs (kidding, Zquil) but that really doesn’t do the trick either.

Image from springhillseniorcare.com

Image from springhillseniorcare.com

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Manic Mondays: The 4-Letter Dirty Word That Starts With ‘S’

So, what is it? What is the real 4-letter dirty word that begins with an ‘s’?

Get your head out of the gutter. Obviously, it’s ‘snow.’

This is what I’m dealing with on this fine Manic Monday. And I hate it. As if getting out of bed on Monday morning isn’t hard enough, let’s add chunks of cold, white crap falling from the sky to make things even more exciting.

I know I’ve talked a lot about the weather of upstate New York, and my ice-box of a bedroom, and my annoyance with the cold, but snow is in a category all by itself. I’m not sure if anything adds to my stress levels the way that snow does.

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Hypochrondri-Acting Like I’m Dying

I do not think one single person is surprised to hear that I am a self-diagnosed hypochondriac.

Isn’t that the most ironic part of it all? By calling myself a hypochondriac, I’m diagnosing myself with a disorder that is about diagnosing yourself with disorders…

I FOREVER think that there’s something seriously wrong with me. I’m almost positive at this point in time that I have strep throat (or the common cold), a brain tumor (or a headache), and an incurable rash (dry skin?).

Image from buzzfeed.com

Image from buzzfeed.com

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