complain

I Most Definitely Did Not Wake Up Like This

If I met a genie and was granted three wishes, I’m almost positive I would wish for an endless supply of Kcups, 1 million golden retriever puppies surrounding me at all times, and most importantly, to be naturally pretty.

Now, I’m aware that I’m not entirely unfortunate looking, but let me tell you, I did not “wake up like dis” (end Beyonce quote).

Same. Image from mbass.com

Same.
Image from mbass.com

All females understand the struggle. The endless hair struggle, the makeup struggle, the workout struggle, the diet struggle. All to look somewhat acceptable in public.

Unless, of course, you’re naturally pretty. Then you don’t understand the struggle at all. Stupid pretty girls.

I know this is so vain to be complaining about, but it really is stressful. I wish that I could just roll out of bed in the morning and look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but instead I look like a disheveled bear who has just risen from a long hibernation.

I know for a fact that it would also save me time, money and effort if I were just simply pretty. I wouldn’t have to buy as much makeup or hair products, I wouldn’t have to wake up an hour before class starts, I wouldn’t have to plan out how much time it will take me to curl my hair and paint on my face every time I want to leave my room. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Life would be a breeze.

For the record, I’d like to point out that I’m not exactly high maintenance, either. Regardless of how not naturally gorgeous I may be, I can still be ready to go out within 30 minutes. I also buy the cheapest Maybelline mascara on the shelf and I wash my hair approximately bi-weekly. So, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a Sephora junkie who eats lettuce for her meals and teases her hair Every. Single. Day.

But, still, I envy those girls who wake-up with flawless, natural waves in their hair and a smooth complexion without a trace of foundation. I would give up my first-born child to forever remove the permanent blueish circles from under my eyes.

If this is the biggest concern I have to deal with in my life, I suppose I should punch myself in the face. But, I’m a college girl and that’s what college girls have to deal with on a daily basis. Wishing they looked like Candice Swanepoel and realizing they resemble a sea urchin instead.