On Wednesdays We Don’t Sleep

I shouldn’t be surprised that I suffer from insomnia. I mean, with my anxiety, my worrisome personality and my hypochondriac-ness, it only seems fitting that I suffer from a sleeping disorder.

I’ve always had a difficult time falling asleep. When I was younger I tried all sorts of things to combat my struggles. I tried listening to ocean wave sound effects, drinking warm beverages, turning my fan on, turning my fan off. Nothing really helped.

As I got older, I tried other things like hard drugs (kidding, Zquil) but that really doesn’t do the trick either.

Image from springhillseniorcare.com

Image from springhillseniorcare.com

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Manic Mondays: The 4-Letter Dirty Word That Starts With ‘S’

So, what is it? What is the real 4-letter dirty word that begins with an ‘s’?

Get your head out of the gutter. Obviously, it’s ‘snow.’

This is what I’m dealing with on this fine Manic Monday. And I hate it. As if getting out of bed on Monday morning isn’t hard enough, let’s add chunks of cold, white crap falling from the sky to make things even more exciting.

I know I’ve talked a lot about the weather of upstate New York, and my ice-box of a bedroom, and my annoyance with the cold, but snow is in a category all by itself. I’m not sure if anything adds to my stress levels the way that snow does.

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Hypochrondri-Acting Like I’m Dying

I do not think one single person is surprised to hear that I am a self-diagnosed hypochondriac.

Isn’t that the most ironic part of it all? By calling myself a hypochondriac, I’m diagnosing myself with a disorder that is about diagnosing yourself with disorders…

I FOREVER think that there’s something seriously wrong with me. I’m almost positive at this point in time that I have strep throat (or the common cold), a brain tumor (or a headache), and an incurable rash (dry skin?).

Image from buzzfeed.com

Image from buzzfeed.com

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Manic Mondays: Car Troubles

I’ve had it up to here (dramatically raises hand as far as possible above head) with car troubles.

And, honestly, I don’t think it has anything to do with me being a nut job that makes me freak out about this kind of thing. I think any normal human being gets frustrated with the hassles that come along with owning a car.

I feel like there is constantly something wrong with my motor vehicle. Granted, some of them are my fault (I may or may not have backed into my roommates stationary car at 1p.m. on a clear, Tuesday afternoon), but most of the issues I deal with are completely out of my control.

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Manic Mondays: I’m Becoming a Buddhist

Recently I’ve been reading up on some Buddhist teachings. I know, how worldly of me.

But, in all seriousness, last week, I read pieces by the Dalai Lama and a Vietnamese Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, and I feel like it’s causing me some anxiety.

What’s really ironic is that these pieces are probably supposed to be calming and soothing. They’re supposed to make you reflect and consider your life in an insightful way. Not stress. Which is obviously what I’m doing.

Both the Dalai Lama and Hanh talk about 5 traditional precepts, which should act like guidelines for living a compassionate, ethical life. Hanh specifically reflects on these “Five Mindfullness Trainings,” which can be summed up as follows:

  1. I vow to affirm life and to refrain from the taking of a life
  2. I vow to be generous and to refrain from taking what is not given
  3. I vow to be detached (from being self-centered) and to refrain from sexual misconduct
  4. I vow to manifest truth and to refrain from verbal transgressions
  5. I vow to proceed clearly and to refrain from harmful consumption

And, as I read them, I started to worry about what a terribly self-centered individual I can be at, like, all times. I’m constantly worried about myself: What am I going to eat today? When am I going to get my homework done? Why am I poor? Why don’t I have a private jet?

Well, Laura, there’s some people who aren’t going to eat at all today. There’s some people who have been studying to get into medical school for about 10 hours today. There’s some people are can’t afford a house. And as far as the private jet situation… grow up.

The last mindfullness training really stuck out to me, too. When Hanh writes about consumption it’s about so much more than food and drink. We all consume so much on a daily basis: food, beverages, music, television, movies, words. We ingest much more than we think.

And, for me, I know that probably about 99.9% of what I ingest is toxic. I watch horrible T.V., I eat fast food, I don’t read enough, I drink cheap liquor, and above all else, the words and thoughts that I consume are almost always negative.

I complain, I moan, I stress, I worry. I created an entire blog off about this stuff for heaven’s sake.

I’m not saying that I should stop doing these things all together. Honestly, I’m not sure I could even if I tried. But, it’s probably important to start making a conscious effort to ingest nutritious food (but I love you TBell), abstain from drinking (but I love you Franzia), and consume positive energy (but I love complaining).

I might always be a chronic worrier, but maybe I could be the chronic worrier with a more positive outlook on life who is also super healthy and appreciative. I doubt it would kill me to lose a pound or two or seven, either.

I'll get there, I swear.  Image from www.wkupireland.org

I’ll get there, I swear.
Image from http://www.wkupireland.org

So, there you have it. It’s Monday, I’m over-analyzing, and now I think I’m a Buddhist because I read a singular article by a monk from Vietnam.

What Not to Wear: Halloween Edition

In girl world, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can…

…Stress out even more than usual about what she’s going to wear (refer to my original what not to wear post: http://wp.me/p4ZrsD-A ).

Ah, yes. The costume party of all costume parties is approaching, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve been going insane trying to think of something to wear for the holiday.

And, if you’re anything like me (part two), you obviously need to have the funniest, the cutest and the most clever costume.

FINE, I admit it… I kind of like attention.

But, as a 20-something, collegiate girl, it can be an absolute terror trying to find a balance between cute and funny. That’s the real Nightmare on Elm Street/any street for that matter.

Personally, I will always prefer funny costumes over sexy costumes. Anyone can throw on a cop costume with a deep v-neck and a push-up bra. Sorry, ladies, literally no one is impressed. Do us all a favor and, if you’re planning on being a bunny… don’t.

So, unless you’re going to outdo everyone and wear lingerie out in 30 degree weather (I feel like I may regret setting that up as a challenge..) be original for once. Please. I’m begging.

I don’t even think I hate scantily clad costumes so much as I hate boring ones. Like, by all means, dress up as Pam Anderson from Bay Watch. That is in no way conservative, but at least I didn’t see 12 of you walking around the party.

Back to the dilemma, though. Clearly I appreciate an original, funny costume idea much more than a pair of cat ears and thigh highs, but it’s still difficult finding a clever outfit yet somehow still letting people know you’re, well, a female. For example, I could easily dress up as Marshall Mathers with my creepy, pale skin and bleach-blonde hair, but like, that would be really freaking weird of me. Funny: good. Creeping everyone at my college out: bad.

I really do admire the girls that have the guts to go all out. The ones that do not care at all what they look like and take Halloween as an opportunity to be hilarious. My friend was Lil’ Wayne last year. And not like “a sexy Lil’ Wayne” in a mini skirt (that actually doesn’t even make sense.. Why would he be wearing a skirt?). No, I mean like foil teeth and a dreaded wig. That’s hysterical. Kudos, girlfriend.

There are two types of girls on Halloween...

There are two types of girls on Halloween…

Oh, and I forgot to mention one other important factor. Most girls (sane ones at least) don’t want to spend more than, let’s say, $4.75 on their entire Halloween attire. So that will really narrow your options down to being a bed-sheet ghost, which may be my best bet at this point.

So, what’s a difficult girl like me to do? Stress, duh. I’ll probably still be worrying about my costume on Friday.

It’s just really hard being an easily unimpressed, critical brat on the holidays, isn’t it?

 

P.S. open to suggestions…