Manic Mondays

Manic Mondays: I Bet You Thought You’d Seen the Last of Me

So, I’ve taken a little break from blogging. That’s pretty obvious.

And the truth is, I just wanted to enjoy my time at home with my friends and family during the holiday season. After a whirlwind of food, drinks, and sleeping in until noon, though, my break is slowing coming to an end. As a result, I’ve decided to get back to blogging in attempt to bring some sort of structure back into my life.

Also, I ran into an old friend the other day who complimented my blog and I did feel a pang of guilt knowing that I had abandoned my online journal for a month now (okay, it’s been more than a month… sue me).

First off, I DON’T EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I love my friends, I love my college, but the comforts of home (my bed, my cat, my mom giving me her Discover card to go grocery shopping…) are just too appealing to want to leave behind. However, I know I’ll be physically forced to leave in about a week and a half if I’d like to, ya know, graduate, so I should probably make the most of it.

Which brings me to my main point: positivity. It’s officially 2015 (hurray!) and we’ve all grown accustomed to the “New Year, New Me” vibes that seep into our lives as we ring in the new year. And you would think as an over-thinking, somewhat cynical brat (for lack of a better, more appropriate word) that I would be repulsed by these type of hopeful resolution-ers, right? But, for some reason I feel the exact opposite.

I recently posted this on my Instagram (mostly because my thoughts couldn’t be shoved into 140 characters):

And I really mean all of that. Who has the audacity to make fun of or be annoyed by someone who is trying to better themselves in the new year? Of course, many of those people will have a cheeseburger this week, or stop going to Zumba by, like, January 19th, but who has the right to put them down for trying?

So, as I said above, I fully support all your resolutions and goal-making, regardless of how corny they may seem. Heck, maybe I’ll even try to cut fast food out of my diet completely. Not likely… I’ve been craving some McNuggets like no other lately.

But, you still get my point. I think it’s important to try to be a better person every day you wake up, not just on January 1st. And the people who tell you otherwise or laugh at your ambitions are clearly not the type of people you want to be around in 2k15 anyway.

On that note… Cheers to the New Year!


Manic Mondays: Jingle-Belling on a Budget

So the cat’s out of the bag: I can’t afford to buy any of you Christmas presents.

Which sucks because I actually thoroughly enjoying giving presents. There was a time in my life (probably when I was 16 and recieveng my first ever paychecks) that I gave gifts to everyone that had ever looked at me. My second grade teacher? Here’s an Old Navy fleece! Everyone in my eighth grade class? Here’s a mug filled with cookies and chocolates.

And, to be honest, I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good gift-giver. I usually know what people will really love, instead of being that girl who gives her sister fuzzy socks that were on sale at Target.

But, as I continue my life as a struggling college student who hates working more than 12 hours a week, my funds have naturally diminished. And I’m left here wondering if (despite all my efforts to avoid them) I’ll be wrapping fuzzy socks in my near future.


Manic Mondays: It’s the Most Wond- Stressful Time of the Year

The worst week of the year has arrived: finals week.

With one week left of classes this semester, it’s hard not to be stressed out. Everything you’ve put off for four months comes creeping up on you and there’s no time left to avoid your annoying obligations.

To make matters worse, everyone just had a relaxing break for Thanksgiving. The break was full of mashed potatoes and Cabernet Sauvignon and corny holiday movies, and it was nothing less than perfect. And obviously there was no time to do any of the work that you know is due in a week.

But, now it’s back to reality. And it sucks. After being pampered like a princess for a week, I’m now back to my poverty-stricken, struggling college girl life at school with a stack of assignments that need to be competed in a 10 day period.

I really shouldn’t complain. I never have too overwhelming of a finals week. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a biology or pre-med student. I would’ve probably put myself into a Nyquil-induced coma a long time ago to be honest.

As a communications major, I’m mostly assigned final papers, which I suppose aren’t as nerve-wrecking as a monstrous, cumulative exam. However, they’re usually more time consuming which is arguably more annoying.

What’s also really crappy about this time of year is that all you want to do is online shop, and bake brownies, and watch Elf with your roommates. The absolute last thing you want to do is sit under the fluorescent lights of the library until 2 a.m. trying to write the seven page research paper you were assigned in September (not that I’m doing that, if you’re reading this Prof. K…).

Image from

Image from

In addition to finals, it’s time to start worrying about other responsibilities like applying for internships, applying for graduate school, applying for jobs. Literally no one wants to do that right now. I promise you. No one.

So, for the next week, instead of sipping hot chocolate and watching the 25 Days of Christmas on ABC family, I’ll be typing away in my bed with my eyes bleeding from looking at my MacBook screen. That’s the holiday spirit, right?!

Manic Mondays: The 4-Letter Dirty Word That Starts With ‘S’

So, what is it? What is the real 4-letter dirty word that begins with an ‘s’?

Get your head out of the gutter. Obviously, it’s ‘snow.’

This is what I’m dealing with on this fine Manic Monday. And I hate it. As if getting out of bed on Monday morning isn’t hard enough, let’s add chunks of cold, white crap falling from the sky to make things even more exciting.

I know I’ve talked a lot about the weather of upstate New York, and my ice-box of a bedroom, and my annoyance with the cold, but snow is in a category all by itself. I’m not sure if anything adds to my stress levels the way that snow does.


Manic Mondays: Car Troubles

I’ve had it up to here (dramatically raises hand as far as possible above head) with car troubles.

And, honestly, I don’t think it has anything to do with me being a nut job that makes me freak out about this kind of thing. I think any normal human being gets frustrated with the hassles that come along with owning a car.

I feel like there is constantly something wrong with my motor vehicle. Granted, some of them are my fault (I may or may not have backed into my roommates stationary car at 1p.m. on a clear, Tuesday afternoon), but most of the issues I deal with are completely out of my control.


Manic Mondays: I’m Becoming a Buddhist

Recently I’ve been reading up on some Buddhist teachings. I know, how worldly of me.

But, in all seriousness, last week, I read pieces by the Dalai Lama and a Vietnamese Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, and I feel like it’s causing me some anxiety.

What’s really ironic is that these pieces are probably supposed to be calming and soothing. They’re supposed to make you reflect and consider your life in an insightful way. Not stress. Which is obviously what I’m doing.

Both the Dalai Lama and Hanh talk about 5 traditional precepts, which should act like guidelines for living a compassionate, ethical life. Hanh specifically reflects on these “Five Mindfullness Trainings,” which can be summed up as follows:

  1. I vow to affirm life and to refrain from the taking of a life
  2. I vow to be generous and to refrain from taking what is not given
  3. I vow to be detached (from being self-centered) and to refrain from sexual misconduct
  4. I vow to manifest truth and to refrain from verbal transgressions
  5. I vow to proceed clearly and to refrain from harmful consumption

And, as I read them, I started to worry about what a terribly self-centered individual I can be at, like, all times. I’m constantly worried about myself: What am I going to eat today? When am I going to get my homework done? Why am I poor? Why don’t I have a private jet?

Well, Laura, there’s some people who aren’t going to eat at all today. There’s some people who have been studying to get into medical school for about 10 hours today. There’s some people are can’t afford a house. And as far as the private jet situation… grow up.

The last mindfullness training really stuck out to me, too. When Hanh writes about consumption it’s about so much more than food and drink. We all consume so much on a daily basis: food, beverages, music, television, movies, words. We ingest much more than we think.

And, for me, I know that probably about 99.9% of what I ingest is toxic. I watch horrible T.V., I eat fast food, I don’t read enough, I drink cheap liquor, and above all else, the words and thoughts that I consume are almost always negative.

I complain, I moan, I stress, I worry. I created an entire blog off about this stuff for heaven’s sake.

I’m not saying that I should stop doing these things all together. Honestly, I’m not sure I could even if I tried. But, it’s probably important to start making a conscious effort to ingest nutritious food (but I love you TBell), abstain from drinking (but I love you Franzia), and consume positive energy (but I love complaining).

I might always be a chronic worrier, but maybe I could be the chronic worrier with a more positive outlook on life who is also super healthy and appreciative. I doubt it would kill me to lose a pound or two or seven, either.

I'll get there, I swear.  Image from

I’ll get there, I swear.
Image from

So, there you have it. It’s Monday, I’m over-analyzing, and now I think I’m a Buddhist because I read a singular article by a monk from Vietnam.

Manic Mondays: The Future Freaks Me Out

As I sit down and begin to plan my class schedule for next semester, I notice the dwindling number of classes I have left to take to complete my degree audit. And graduate.

Holy shit. It’s almost time to be a real person.

One of the most stressful, anxiety-filled things to deal with is not knowing what you want to do with the rest of your life but simultaneously having no choice but to deal with it.

I’ve always wanted to know exactly what my future holds. I know this may come as a surprise to you all, but I’m not exactly comfortable with the unknown. I wish I was one of those creepy people who knew they wanted to be a orthopedic surgeon since they were, like, six.

However, the only thing I’m completely sure of is that I’m completely unsure what I’d like to do with my life.

Image from

Image from

Clearly, I’m having an even more Manic Monday than usual.

And I know that I’m not alone. Everyone ages 18-22 gets that speech everyday. The “No One Knew What They Wanted To Do When They Were Your Age, Sweetie” speech. Gag me.

I also know how unoriginal it is for me to be stressing about something that stresses nearly everyone in the world out. But, as unique and crazy as I may be at times, I’m no exception to the universal anxieties.

Ultimately, it just really sucks. It sucks not feeling confident about your future. It sucks seeing other people who seem to have a clear drive or passion for something. It sucks feeling like you have no direction.

I think I might be more satisfied or content if I was really into something. Like, anything. I’m pretty sure I don’t really enjoy… things. I’m not an avid movie watcher, or reader, or cooker, or singer, or knitter (does anyone actually knit?). I’m not artistic or crafty or athletic. I wouldn’t say I’m terrible at any of those things, but I also wouldn’t say that I feel complete happiness with a basketball or a paint brush in my hand. Quite frankly, I don’t care.

That’s why it was so difficult for me to begin blogging. I knew that I had absolutely no right to blog about cooking or movie reviewing- what the hell do I know about Filet Mignon or film making?

And I totally wish this was different. I wish I was different in this sense. I wish there was something out there that really excited me. The kind of excitement I feel when my waitress approaches me with a huge bacon cheeseburger.

That’s a scary thought, too. Imagine when I sit down for an interview in a couple years and they ask me what I’m passionate about and I respond, “Uh… Baconaters?”

Maybe these feelings and interests develop over time, though. Perhaps I’m thinking way too much into my future, which would be really unlike me…

In the mean time, I suppose I’ll register for classes, do my assignments, keep calm and attempt to get through yet another manic week as a 20-something-year-old with ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE SHE SEES HERSELF IN FIVE YEARS.